Dear Human Communicators,
How successful would you be personally and professionally if you had a personal Communication Advisor?
Isn’t It Time You Bring Communication to the Forefront of Your Life?
Dear PS: Conversations about Communication™
Welcome to the 4th edition of Dear PS! For over 20 years, I have committed myself to understanding both the art and science of communication in an effort to understand humanities greatest gift of connection and creativity. This newsletter provides the opportunity to share years of discovery and application. Please do not take this gift lightly. Your happiness, your success, your relationships depend on your ability to understand and use the tool of communication to create the life you want to live. Blog us, we would love to hear from you! This month, we highlight Small Group Communication; you know family, team, association, group... We all can learn to get along once we understand the vast importance of the role of perception as we make room for other realities. Want to change the world you're living in? Your communication effectiveness holds THE key!
The Art and Science of Communication: Tools for Effective Communication in the Workplace (ASC) is flying off the shelves of all the major bookstores into the hands of interested readers already sharing this important work with others. Our global society is desperate for people willing to increase their abilities to communicate, inspire and impact the world with words of healing ....we are here Pass It On!
Welcome to our new “Dear PS Blog”. Send Your Comments!!!
www.dearps.blogspot.com
Small Group Communication Tips
Dear PS,
Q: Can you help me understand why I always seem to be so uncomfortable in group discussions? I just
clam up and wish I could disappear!
A: This is a common issue for many individuals. This is an important fact because those other 3 or more
individuals in the group are probably feeling the same way and faking their way through or
withdrawing just like you. Where does the discomfort come from? Basically, it is an unhealthy
obsession with “self”. Not as in positive self-esteem but as in low self-worth and an unhealthy focus on
your imagined shortcomings. Remember the phrase “you take you wherever you go”? Well, what is
your self-talk saying to you and how is it building or destroying your ability to be heard? Another issue
may be your lack of communication repertoire. What do you have to say? Focus on your issues of self-
worth and improve, increase your communication repertoire for greater communication opportunities.
Chapter 1, 4 and 5 of the ASC guidebook shed further light on this concern. Your VOICE is just as
important and worthy as the next....know it – speak it!
Q: I am a team leader at work and it is one of the most challenging positions I have ever had! The team
members are so diverse from their ideologies to their backgrounds. I am having trouble getting everyone
on the same page.
A: Welcome to the 21st century of diversity in the workplace. Increasingly, team leaders must become
culturally competent to manage diverse groups and points of view. There are many factors to leading in
the global marketplace. But a few important factors include: (1) how competent are you to lead the team
in terms of knowledge and desired outcomes, (2) what is your background working with individuals
who may bring to the table differing perspectives and worldview, (3) do you understand the important
difference between task and maintenance leadership skills, (4) what type is your leadership style and is
this group prepared for it and lastly, (5) how passionate are you about the mission? Answering these
questions will enable you to understand the amount of work that needs to be a part of your leadership
reasearch. Individuals will follow a leader who knows where he/she is going and passionate about what
ALL his/her members have to offer.
Q: I don’t understand why we have such a hard time working together in groups in the U.S. Other
countries such as China seem to be surpassing us in collective innovation and production. Does our
communication style offer any insight?
A: This is a great question that strikes at the heart of how we see ourselves. There are many ways to
approach this issue depending on who is answering the question, but I would like to offer one issue that
many feel greatly impacts this issue – “individualism versus collectivism”. We live in a “hyper-
individualistic” culture that places less value on the we than on the me. This affects every aspect of our
society. It breeds competition versus cooperation at every level of our culture. Just look around. You
want my definition of a good team? “A great team is comprised of members who contribute their
individual best for the collective good.”
PS. Have a wonderful day. It’s always your choice!
And that’s my word!
Pass It On!
www.hci-global.net www.hci-global.com www.communicationstaircase.com
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6 comments:
i have learned how to present myself in a group. i learned that having confidence can take you to the next level and get you through a lot of stuff, rather its presenting a speech in front of a class or passing an oral board interview for a government job. id like to thank you for telling me how to find my real self and therefore i used what you told me and found out who i really am. thanks
-Victor Rosales Oral Comm 103
I can really relate to the first question about freezing up or feeling like you don't have anything to contribute in a group discussion. One of the most useful lessons I've taken from COMM 101 is to focus less on yourself when communicating more on the message! When you're truly focused on what you're talking about, self-consciousness takes care of itself because your mind is no longer on you you and all your performance anxieties. It's important to be prepared for group discussions, whether at work or in class so that you actually have something to say and can easily follow what's going on. I find it useful to spend time alone before a meeting to reflect on the agenda and how and where I can contribute. Then in the meeting/discussion, the more I can stay focused on the issues (and not myself!), the better positioned I am to jump in where I can.
-Katie Barnes COMM 101
This was very informative to me because I struggled with expressing myself. It became very frustrating because at times I would want to say something and I would freeze up. I have learned that people are not worried about what you are wearing but what you are presenting.I would alway fade to the back so I would not have to be a spokesperson because I was not confident with my presentation. This has boosted my confidence to be more asertive and not let someone speak for me.
-Darrell Pretlow
One of the biggest roles I've had in my life was President of my fraternity, and working closely with 20 officers. These officers were definitely diverse and it was a year-long struggle to get them on the same page. Unfortunately, I feel I was unable to bring us all to the same page, and do struggle with remembering the mistakes I've made and wishing I can go back to do things differently. However, time does not allow that, so I need to move forward and use my experiences to make better decisions. I'm very eager to grow and become a team leader again, and use my experiences to make better decisions. I feel it's right timing that I humbly experienced that term as presidency first, to now be educated in communication, which to now apply knowledge in the future.
- Jeffery Ly, Oral Comm 103
I have learned that communicating in a group is extremely important. To share your ideas and concerns that will benefit everyone in the group. I on the other hand have problems of speaking out my thoughts to everyone in fear of sharing wrong ideas. Somehow the idea that some cultures' thoughts or perspectives are better and more acceptable than others have become stuck on my mind. This also applies to my work place where it is so diverse that it feels like their opinions are what matters. This is really a great blog and it opens up our mind on how self consciousness is what distracts us on communicating in a group and what stops us from delivering our thoughts to everyone. We should be more aware of what we can say to help bring out something that will benefit the group and not focus solely on "I".
Diane Panuga
Comm 103
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