Saturday, August 23, 2008

Dear PS

Dear Human Communicators,

Welcome to our new “Dear PS Blog”. Send Your Comments!!!

How successful would you be personally and professionally if you had a personal Communication Advisor?


Dear PS: Conversations about Communication™

What a difference a few weeks makes! Since our last communiqué, we now have a democratic frontrunner for President of the United States of America that is also breaking historical barriers by being a Bi-racial (Black) American male! Hillary Clinton waged the most successful female candidacy ever! We are also dealing with the devastating fall-out of the Mississippi River floods! There are again peace talks between Hamas and Israel! The EU has decided to lift sanctions from Cuba! What a few incredible weeks...Think about it. All that we know and understand about the aforementioned situations is what has been shared, created or experienced through the POWER of WORD. What is your word creating? If you are reading this newsletter, your continued communication will be enriched. Share with others! That’s what Interpersonal Communication is all about – sharing with another in connectivity.

I am so excited to share as author that The Art and Science of Communication (ASC) is flying off the shelves of major bookstores nationally, international and online into the hands and mind of a multitude of interested readers! THANK YOU to all who have purchased copies and are already reading and sharing. I just returned from a Barnes and Noble 3-stop book tour in my home state N.C. It was FABULOUS! I am receiving some extremely positive and humbling feedback. I recently walked into a Borders Bookstore, and there was my book on the Business/Communication shelf! How exciting for me to sign a few copies for the store. We are in desperate need to understand more about this gift and the VITAL important power of communication skills to navigate every aspect of our lives. Please continue to join me and PASS IT ON!

LASTLY, Read The Art and Science of Communication, and PLEASE visit Amazon.com to share your review of the book with the world.

Interpersonal Communication Tips
Dear PS,

Q: One of my colleagues has a huge problem with listening! I can not get a word in. They always seem to know the answer to everything, right or wrong. How can I encourage him to listen?
A: You use the right phrase –“encourage to LISTEN.” Many people confuse hearing with listening. The deaf listen, they do not hear. Every time we engage in listening, we make a choice to do so. We hear involuntarily but we listen voluntarily. Share with your colleague that listening entails using 4 basic ingredients – the eyes, ears, mind and memory. All 4 need to work together synergistically to experience active listening. Encourage the department to sponsor classes in basic communication skills. Chapter two of ASC provides effective listening tools.

Q: I am having a really difficult time communicating with my spouse. It feels that we don’t have anything positive to share any more. It’s all about bills and problems at work. It’s as if when we talk, we no longer share the little things or our dreams and goals. I don’t know what to do.
A: The two of you have forgotten how to listen with empathy. There are only 4 types of listening experiences you vacillate between all day long. Empathy is one of them. To listen with empathy means to listen with your mind AND heart. Just because you care! Just because you value the other person’s opinions and dreams as much as your own. When you lose this vital ability within the interpersonal relationship, you are quickly on your way to termination. You both are encouraged to take the Listening
Self-Evaluation assessment in Chapter 2 of ASC and carefully examine the listening tips given. Also, it helps to make sure you really understand how important you are to one another.

Q: I understand how Intrapersonal Communication may affect my personal life but I do not understand its connection to my relationships.
A: You take you wherever you go! When you interact with others, you interact from the level of YOUR thoughts, YOUR feelings. All of these are a part of your Interpersonal Communication. Your relationships are built on how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself. If you are angry in your life, you will experience angry relationships. If you are content with you and your life, you will attract other contented relationships. We call these “mirror messages” – the reflection we get from others about ourselves. Your relationships are a reflection of how you see yourself always, and will change when you change – for better or for worse!

PS. Have a wonderful day. It’s always your choice!
And that’s my word!
Pass It On!
http://www.hci-global.net/ http://www.hci-global.com/ http://www.communicationstaircase.com/

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I can really relate to the first question. Sometimes you just run into people that feel they know everything. It can be extremely frustrating when your trying to get a word in. The next time I find myself in a situation like that I will try to bring to their attention, there is 4 basic ingredients – the eyes, ears, mind and memory. Maybe then they will becoming more open into accepting different ideas. As for the second question, I believe that must be incredibly frustrating for someone to go through. I strongly agree with your last response when you talk about taking YOU wherever YOU go. I think most sane people will agree with that. But its really interesting I personally believe I attract people that reflect me and the person I see myself as being. I like to think that all the people in my life are relatively good people, and I believe that directly reflects me.

Andres Gamboa Communication/Journalism 101

Audra Houtchens said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Audra Houtchens said...

Since enrolled in your class I have been taught how important the four basic ingredients are. As a woman I have a very hard time listening. I always want to say something. Sorry guys it's a woman thing.I have also learned how important it is to stick by these four ingredients. I have found that as I have reached the end of the semester I have become a better listener. Yes, it does take time, but baby steps will get you there. Replying to the first question, I do agree that it is hard when someone always has to put in their two cents. The best advice to give to someone like this is telling them these four ingredients. I also feel that not just the four ingredients help but the seven elements;speaker, message, channel, situation, noise, listener and feedback. These are all what have made me become a better listener. Maybe it can help this colleague too!

I can't wait to read your book Professor Perkins!

Audra Houtchens

Matcore718 said...

I feel thatcommunication is an aspect of the human experience that is not fully appreciated. One that that I really learned is how to listen. I feel that I have much to say and am not always listning but waiting to speak. Now I too see the importance of litning to those around me, not just those whom I read. I hope to leave the class a better person, one who is opened to all that I am surrounded by, not just what I choose to recodnize.
Mathew Liebovitz